My Random Thoughts

Monday, January 27, 2003

my heart is drenched in wine

...And you'll be on my mind...for...ev...errr... Norah Jones can write the words on my tombstone. I swear, "Don't Know Why," is beautiful. This isn't a delayed reaction, just a delayed relation. I know I always say I'll be back to post more...and really...I will. There's a lot in me that needs to come out (hush), so for real this time... I'll be back. I swear,you see how I've been to these boards? That's what it's like to date me...lol.

.: posted by Princess Portia 10:01 PM

Wednesday, January 22, 2003

forgetting where you come from

Yes, I was guilty of the above this week, or however long it's been. A girl gets a little money, a new computer, a new bedroom set, and some other ish, and she stops posting and stuff. I'm sorry. Or at least I'll pretend to be if you get me something off of my wishlist. Ok for real this time... I'll be back.

.: posted by Princess Portia 4:50 PM

Monday, January 13, 2003

my mind on my money and my money on my mind

Now you see- I'm generally a pretty friendly lady. I don’t' have too many "rules' or "boundaries" that can't be crossed. But if you want to see a perky Portia turn nasty in a split second, mess with my money. Be it money I've worked for, money I've studied for, don't mess with it. Someone needs to tell this to USF's office of financial aid. They need to change the name of that shit to USF's office of financial burden, struggle, and stress, since they give out more of that than money. IT just really frustrates me when I do everything I can possibly do to ensure that I get my ish on time. Then here these fools come all, "everything is fine, you'll get your money on time..." Do I? Was my check disbursed on Saturday morning? Of Course Not! These raggedy ass fools place my mess on hold for something that it shouldn’t have been placed on hold for. I'm talking a hella-delayed reaction. So I call today, and "Miss Bertha," is all like, "ooh! hold on please!" Puts me on hold for like 3minutes, comes back all like, "ok, I see what happened, I'll have that fixed by the end of the day." There was no apology for their mess-up. No courtesy USF key chain... NOTHING. They are so lucky I had to come to work. I would be up in that office raising hell. It just doesn't make any sense. They're not even trying to expedite my shit. You know I want to write a letter. But who do I send it to? Our anti 1st amendment more concerned with her raise, new car, and driver (so what, you become the president of a university and suddenly don't have the strength to push down the brakes/gas yourself?) than she is with "student satisfaction" president Judy Genshaft? Do I send it to the dean that I've never even seen? (Don’t know his name either, guess that tells you I haven't made Deans List...lol). I hate feeling helpless. SO I asked the cunt when I would get my money, she's all like "I can't say exactly, it'll be sent out some time this week though." Bitch please, once again< i repeat, I did everything I could to ensure that my money would be sent when it was supposed to be. I should not have to suffer because they have a bunch of elderly non English speaking (*NOTE:this is only used as a derogatory thing because when you're dealing with peoples money and their education, you just might wanna speakey a little English) fools taking their calls reassuring people like me that "It be okay, you gonna get you monies." GRR! So now I'm still broke, and still waiting. Why can't they wire that mess right into my back account? Forget all this mailing checks crap. They seriously want to fight. And I seriously want to cry. Hopefully I won't an "Annngry" all day, and I'll come back and post about the rest of my weekend. If not, oh well.

.: posted by Princess Portia 9:49 AM

Wednesday, January 08, 2003

the antisocial post
So as time progressed today, my mood improved slightly. My workday is over, now it's off to do that freaking cleaning I talked about earlier. But now that I've spoken (typed) it into the atmosphere that I would do it, there's no turning back. My favorite hairstyle of the month is surprisingly tough and resilient... without spritz. You know it's kind of nice having no horses in my stable to feed and coddle.

There's a step-show in Orlando on the 24th that Tiffany wants me to go to. I hate being asked about iffy things in advance. Step shows are like clubs and parties; one of those things I can't guarantee I'll be up to attending until shortly before the day of. I have to mentally prepare to deal with a bunch of ignorant-messed- up- priority- having- while- trying- to- convince-themselves-and-everyone-else-that-they're-focused-and-their-head-is-in-the-right-place-when-they really-just-can't-stop thinking-about getting-the-outfit-and-shoes-they-say-in-that-video-on-106 & Park. Really, it's nauseating. Darn my old soul. I mean I'm one of the silliest, goofiest, people you'll meet, and I don't try to feel that way, but whenever I go out or to some social environment with a crowd similar to the club I just feel like I don't belong. Like I'm better than all that mess. And maybe that's a really bad way to feel. I mean, don't get me wrong, I don't not enjoy myself, I'd just rather be at a poetry slam or a jazz club just chillin and networking with like-minded folks. The problem is, I love to dance. And you cant dance how I like to dance anywhere but in your mirrored room in your dance studio (ha!), or in the club. I'm the type, since when I do go it's solely to DWI (dance while Inebriated), I don't need some dude all up behind me slapping the inside of his jeans (and thus my butt) with his sweaty scrotum. No. Thanks. I'm perfectly fine dancing by myself, no one's dead skin and body excretions (sweat...Eww) touching my body but my own. I also don't have enough slut apparel. "Whore shirts," as I loving call them when hanging w/Tiffany. Every time I go out to one of these places the "what to wear" battle always ensues. "Do I wear this basic fashion stable (khakis, jeans, jean skirt, black skirt, etc.) With this newly acquired-will-probably-only-wear-tonight- whore shirt? Or vice versa." I'm a 40-year-old trapped in a 24-year-olds body. (Yes, I'm 20...lol). Don't get me wrong, I love to get drunk and silly with the best of the.... Just not in a club. Give me a house shindig any day. You know what? That's the abrupt end of this rant.

.: posted by Princess Portia 6:01 PM

bah humbug

Yes, my Scrooge mood is a bit delayed. Whatever. Can't say I care. Next week can't get here soon enough. Ihaven't been broke in the longest, but I am feeling some serious pain in the pockets right now. This will all change next week, of course. But these 6 days are killing me. I'm talking bills that I've been on time on forever are acting funny about slight delays this one time. Ok, I really don't want to get into it, but this bugs.

Maybe my brokeness is what has me down, but there are no signs of the Perky Portia today. Even though today the ground was all frozen again, and my car had a layer of ice on it. Even things that usually excite me have me like 'ho hum." And I'm out of Fresh Scent Clorox wipes. I could use that scent right now. Maybe I need some aromatherapy. I need a hug. But a new hug. I'm tired of huggin the same old folks. I need to smell a new smell, and lots of it. At least I have new classes that don't completely suck (yet). I feel like cleaning, that's how I know I'm in a bad mood.

.: posted by Princess Portia 2:23 PM

Monday, January 06, 2003

wait, watch her!

Happy 2003!

Yes, I know I'm late. I never said I was a punctual person. My New Year's Eve wasn't so bad. Tiffany and I watched a movie, some of the countdown, and ate pizza. Absolutely Thrilling. if you never learn anything else from my rants, remember this: $4.99 champagne is the devil. "The Brut," kicked my butt. And if you ever want a mojito, don't try to make it at home... unless you have the taste for cough syrup. So of course things got more interesting after midnight. Not interesting, interesting. Just interesting. Interesting huh? Ok, I'm going to stop typing that now.

So my best friend's 21st birthday is in like a week and a half. I think I'm having anxiety about it. I've always been the "younger, but older," one, and now, for 6 months and 6 days from January 15th, I'll be the young one. I'm not too worried about it, since I don't plan on partaking in too many environments where being 21 would be more beneficial than 20. Seriously though, I'm in no rush. I'd be 18 again if I could. Maybe even 6. Oh well, at least now I'll have a pusher-person that doesn't come with a side of drama. Speaking of drama...

I finally got my Christmas present from Romeo Must Die (tm Larry-Boy). It's a black and white picture of what I like to call a "lynching tree." I have 2 walls in my apartment filled with depressing images of black oppression. Great conversation piece!

Hmm.what else has been going on? I have no clue about half of my classes this semester. I'm taking Late Shakespeare (took Early Shakes last semester), Human Sexual Development (this is the class people fight for...there's a field trip to Todd's). The 20th Century (I have absolutely no clue what exactly we'll be learning about from the 20th century), and "Earth, Science, and Life." According to Katie it's all group-work reading about dirt and rocks. I can handle that. Really, I can.

So miss anti-club found herself in one once again this weekend. I finally made a "bouncer friend," now that I don't really need one. He's a big bouncer too...ha. Needless to say, it was effortless, but still pointless.

So it's supposed to freeze up here tomorrow. Oh joy. I remember having to actually scrape and pour hot water on my windows last year. And there being ice chunks in the field near my house. Yippee. I remember when I went outside and my windshield was frozen, I didn't know how to defrost it.

*Keep in mind that I'm a Floridian, the only thing we use our defrost function in our car for is humidity/fog, so don't laugh.

So yeah, after like 10 minutes in the freezing cold, I think, "oh yeah, defrost!' Sadly, that was probably the most amusing thing that I remember occurring last winter. Today feels eerily "normal." I came to work on time, I actually posted, I went through my internet rounds with little interruption, I actually did some work, and I have class when I get off. I guess it's officially "back in the swing of things." You know, as much as I complain about bad writing, I need to read better. Especially when failing to read vital information can put me in some weird situations. I think I was just being lazy in this particular situation. That or I was inebriated when I read it. Regardless of what caused me not to read carefully, not doing so caused some funny ish.

On a completely different note, I can't wait until January 15th. No, not because of Tiffany's birthday, but because that's the day I should receive my "Net Check." Woohoo. Yippee. Oh joy. Ok, I'm getting sleepy and I have many, many, hours remaining in my day. Lates.