Friday, May 31, 2002
Looky! I got a new phone!!!
***My New Phone
I'm so thrilled, and I sooo got the corporate hook-up. I love my job! I love my phone! Bad part is, It won't get here until Tuesday or Wednesday, which means I have to go homeo n lunch those two days to get it...but that'll be grand. I'm going to one of those taste testing things tonight. Where a bunch of restaurants are there, and you get to taste everything and they cook it right there. That'll be cool. I really want to go to a wine tasting, but I have 1 year ans 21 days until I can do that. (386 days!) But that's cool. I'll just throw a wine and cheese (heh whine and cheese) party. I assign everyone a wine, and I handle all of the cheese. So basically everyone leaves drunk and constipated, but hey...we do these things for high-class entertainment. I know everyone I'm going to this thing with is going tobe under-dressed, so I'll be leaving them. Ok, something else about my phone...don't tell me Sprint sucks...all cell phone companies suck if you don't want to pay your bill..so don't give me that. I'm very please with them. Ooh! Because I'm doing the corporate thing, my insurance is free...only because it's my company though. I know when people try to sneak and say they work for Mcdonald's they don't get the phone insurance free.We're special here. I was thinking about how broad my taste in men is. I can find guys ranging from Bizzy Bone to Morris Chestnut attractive..heehee. There's just so many beautiful men, in so many shapes and sizes (sizes of some things are non-negotiable...and that's real). But umm..yeah. I'm sleepy now. It's pretty much hurrican season and I'm happy. That means I can look forward to rain every day at four.That's one of the things I luurve about Florida...and I'm SO not being sarcastic. Ok, I can't stop yawning and I'm outta this office in like 12 minutes...toodles. Oh! And thank you Mr. Sprint representative that hooked me up. I owe you for the tuxedo (that's a drink). Have a wonderful safe weekend peoples!
.: posted by Princess Portia 5:20 PM
Thursday, May 30, 2002
hmmph
I meant to post earlier, but this day started with me being a bitch, and I didn't want to take it out on my blog. But it..the day progressed, and stuff happened, and I worked, and I had some bomb ass seafood gumbo for lunch, and umm some other stuff. There's some stuff (people) that I really want to discuss...but I won't. Not yet. Remember that hing I was supposed to not be enthused about yesterday? It looks like that was a wise choice (to not think about it). Good thing...umm yeah..I don't want to talk about that either. SO basically, everything that is going on with me worth talking about, I can't/won't talk about. What a waste of space.... Bye.
.: posted by Princess Portia 10:14 PM
Wednesday, May 29, 2002
what to say, man?
Today feels like Thursday...but it's my Tuesday since I have to come in and train someone on Saturday...damn man...I feel weird today. I'm semi-excited about something I shouldn't be excited about until it's confirmed since the individual this thing invloves has a recent track record of umm...letdowns. Though there is always a good reason, but still. So I'm not going to be enthused. I'm going to pretend I don't know what's going on...it's a normal Wednesday (that feels like a Thursday)...nothing special. Nothing planned. No promises, no guaratees, no expectations, no disappointments. I treated myself to a suicide for breakfast. (A mix of like all the sodas at a soda fountain...) Yum...Suicide and a dry english muffin. Umm ok. It's kind of healthy. I'm just kind of over this breakfast thing... I was thinking about drinking boost again, but it wasn't really boosting anything, just giving me headaches. Eating before 11 a.m. can be so overrated. If I could feel nourished after taking lots of vitamins I would just do that...damn it man...I just thought about what I'm not supposed to be thinking/excited about...oops. Maybe I shouldn't have come to work today. Wait...they have to bring me my bonus check to my desk..so yeah..I'm glad I'm here. Have you ever been in lurve??? I have. Just thougt I'd share that with you. It's really nice...you should try it sometime ("try it with your friends!" haha)...ummm yeah.
I was talking with my dub smitty (mom) this morning...she likes to call at 6:30...usually I grunt and moan and say I love you then hang up..(yeah we're one of those families...it's like, "I'm going to the bathroom...I love you," "good morning, I love you," "Dinner's ready, I love you.") But this morning I felt like talking since for whatever reason I was already awake, so I talked to her. We talked about when Penelope has puppies, and she was telling me how expensive it's going to be...wow. I'm tryig to make money mayne<---> (ghetto word of the week), not go broke for puppies. They're going to be so cute though...I hope she has like 3..(I think she's too small for more). I have to give my mom one...I would sell the other two but I know they'll be cute,so I'll probably just sell one..freaking addictive dogs. They have 80's music jamming in my office...that is like so mood altering man...eek, thought about it again. I need a hug. I haven't really been huggy this week. Until now. TIme to go hug a coworker...the lady in the coffee shop...the "postal proffesional...or not. Thought about it again. STOP!!! Ok..let me stop being silly. (Is that possible??) Because of this 80's music, I have a strange feeling there will be more posted later...oh! Another weird food giving fitness professional thing. Last week on Monday Leeroy Jenkins was chwoing down a jello pudding...now we all like pudding, so me testing the waters...I asked for a pudding. (Just to see how proffesional this fitness professional was) It was sheer boredom..I could have cared less about the pudding..so he said he would bring meone the next day. So he forgot the next day, and the day after...so yesterday he hook me up w/a 6 pack of yogurt, and a 6 pack of pudding. (The fat-free skim milk kind though). I thought that was pretty darn nice... it was free food, so hey. We need a fire drill so I can go outside. I hope it rains. Wait, maybe I don't that could change the thing I'm excited about...hmmm. Ok...toodles for now!
.: posted by Princess Portia 9:06 AM
Tuesday, May 28, 2002
jinkies
Ok, now you see...I didn't plan on posting twice today, but ummm I received some inspiration. Now this here folks, is a post. It's a warm fuzzy post. A, "damn it's scary how even though you're like 500 years older some things never change." Umm yeah. I know I have a tendency to be vague and rather pointless in many of my posts...and this one won't be any different. Those who are meant to understand the force will have the force with them. No, I'm not a star wars chick..which is why what I just said about posts probably made absolutely no sense. So I've encountered the question, "what do you do when you find someone that meets all of your qualifications since you're so damn picky?" Actually, guys ask me this all of the time as I reject them with no mercy...I mean if someone tries to, "holla," and I'm, "not feeling them," I'm not going to be around the bush, or do the fake number thing...I'll just be like, "look, I'm not interested, howver, thank you for the compliment." But then, some guys like to ask silly questions like, "why?" So then I have to tell them...which is inspiring a new random list..."things that I will NOT accept in a dude"
Ok..I'm going to go work on that now. You can thank West Palm for the double posts...he made my day, and when I have any surge of emotions...I type...or cook..and I'm at work..so I'm typing.
.: posted by Princess Portia 5:21 PM
happy hair day
So yeah, I'm now braidless, and I'm wearing my hair, "natural." Just curly..no relaxers (perms) for another month or so (it's been 3 so far) and no heat styling...not even blow drying. I figure if I'm going to grow my hair back out I should do it healthily. But damn I want to dye it...this is the lonest it's been it's natural color...and it's ok..but I'm in hair care chemical withdrawal I suppose. Why is it that people want to spend time with me when I don't want to be bothered, but when I'm like bored as hell and actually available the invites cease?? Hmmm...it's eerie. Just like the whole once you're un-single everyone wants you. Madness, I tell ya. If I don't upgrade my computer soon it's going to die. But I'm sorry...I have to buy shoes and kitchen stuff first. But yeah. Ilike my hair today. And that can definately change the mood of the day. I have free dinner coupon thingy for HOPS..maybe I'll use it tonight. But get this..Leroy Jenkins the fitness professional gave it to me.. does that make sense?? I'm supposed to be keeping you healthy so I give you a gift certificate to the restaurant with the bomb-ass sugar coated croissant thingies...ok..I've lost my train of thought
.: posted by Princess Portia 3:06 PM
Monday, May 27, 2002
happy memorial day!
I used to complain about these patriotic holidays that only include barbecue, being outside (read:mosquitos), and not getting mail. But then I started to work at a bank, and September 11 occured. So now I appreciate the meaning of these holidaysm and I umm, don't have to go to work. Today was my typical memorial day. I ate, took lot's of Benadryl to fight off this cold, slept, watched marathons (Trading Spaces and Follow that Food) and that's about it...my freaking dog is still in heat...it like went away for a wekk, then came back full force. This is hella gross, but oh well. I really really need to consume some pepsi products. I like Tweet Tweet's vrizon commercial. Ok, no I don't..I just needed to say someting nice. Seriously though...I was a bith today. Not in an outward way...I was a quiet bitch. I exuded my bitchiness trhough my silence and blank stares. Why you ask? It ws the benadryl. It's weird, but I know now for sure that all of those medicines/teas that make you sleepy also make you hella cranky if yuo don't sleep. Even if you do, you're going to have at least a few minutes of crankiness. Don't go see underconver brother...it's just wrong. Ok, well I'm sure there was something else i wanted to say, but umm..I have to go do my toenails...yeah baby. Toodles...Back to the real world in the a.m.
.: posted by Princess Portia 10:10 PM
Sunday, May 26, 2002
yawn
I sat and talked with my sister today..well me her and her best friend...that was new...we only have actualy sister/female bonding moments every few months. But yeah..that was cool. Just sat around talking about things girls talk about. I showed her my web page and she thinks I'm crazy. Other than that I haven't really done much. That Friday drama...I got a reply, sent a reply back, and that should be the end of that. I'm not going to post it though...I mean, since it's not going to be a recurring incident. I think she's "caught on," now that I want nothing to do with that crap. If I want drama..I'll go pick a fight with a man-whore, not used recycled drama. But I don't thrive off of drama like some braods, so that won't happen. May I take a moment to admit that I'm bored? Ok, there I go.
Tomorrow is memorial day, a bunch of people are going to the beach like all day, but I'm quite content with my current level of browness..and I'm paranoid about skin cancer, so I'll pass. But umm yeah. This upcoming week is going to be interesting. Fun maybe?? we'll see. But my head hurts. Oh! I've found a new way to amuse myself. Dressing in all black and sporting strawberry blond wigs styled in a bob and doing charlies ange's poses for the camera...maybe I'll put on eon here. Am I too old for dress-up? Nahhh.
.: posted by Princess Portia 11:14 PM
Friday, May 24, 2002
the planned post
oK..SEE..there was lot's of other stuff I had to say"Leroy Jenkins," (the gym guy) called me late last night so he could, "talk to me before his birthday," umm whoa. What was that all about? That's some mushy ish...I don't know anything about all of that. He's going to Miami for his bday, was packing, and he somehow thought about me?? Okaaaaaaaay. I won't ask. Olivia, her mom (Casey) and I went to the mall. It was great, but kind of funny. You see, Casey's a brown girl, she has a pink baby, and and a kind of pink husband. SO her and I are walking around the mall with this pink baby in all our brown-girled glory, (did I mention we went to the ghetto mall where Casey once got hit on WHILE PREGO?? haha) So yeah, boqueesha's and pookies all over the place are breaking thier necks trying to figure out whose baby we have..it was funny. I ran into this guy that I used to work with, had the biggest crush on since I was like 14, ran into him on campus last year, we started hangin out, but I was still with ol drama ex metioned above...so I didn't give into my desires to get with this guy. Soooo....apparently (as mentioned above) this was a stupid stupid decison. So I went through this phase this fall, we'll calit the, "shoulda coulda woulda," phase. And it still bugs me to this day. I'll talking this man is beautiful and smart, and funny, he writes poetry, smells good, and was into me. Damn, so last I checked he has a girlfriend (I didn't ask last night, but he has that stressed/non shavel look, so I'd say he does!) So yah. That sucks. I should have ran far away with him to umm somehwere. We used to, 'get a room<" ( a orivate study room at the campus library) every day and just talk...the first time I saw love jones (ok, I know I was late seeing it) was with him, he kidnapped me and took me to a bookstore and had me pick books that represented me...that's some beautiful ish. Or it was to me. SInce my relationship was in a suck phase, (hindsight: there were a lot of those!) everything about him was refresing. Damn that's one of those things I'll regret for a while. That's why I have commitment issues now, what if another guy like this (I need to giv ehim a name, we'll call him my shoe store friend...that's where we worked together.) comes into my world, but I'm already tied down, I don't want to cheat (karma man!) but umm...It's like you never know how something will turn out...there are way to many wonderful beautiful guys in the world...I need to travel..haha...ok, have a wonderful 3 day weekend...I'll try to post sometime this weeknd, but if not, just re-read this long ass one. ISmooches! MMnnt.
.: posted by Princess Portia 10:05 AM
drama I don't want to be a part of
Ok, see now I try to avid making posts about specific people. But some ignorance just NEEDS to be exposed...maybe it'll help to break the cycle...ha. Ok, here's the scenario. I have an ex. (umm don'tmost of us?) THere was a tumultuous ending of our relationship, but we boths omehow managed to not hate eachother. Or should I say I managed to not hate him (always the victim!! heehee.) I'm not going to get into that part of it though, because it's kind of irrelevant to what's going on now. Or what someone is trying to make go on now. Ok, to sum it up, this ex and I still coresspond sporadically via email. With the exception of my evil Valendoom's Day Poem, I've always been the replier (regardless of the delay..it's still a reply!) And he the initiator. That's also irrelevant...kind of. Ok, let's add the drama to the equation. Enter insecure prego (supposedly...though it doesn't matter either way) untrusting, already proven to be psycho girlfriend person. Supposedly she is going to take my ex's hand in marraige after he ties up a, "few loose strings." Strings that weren't tied up the 1.5 years we were together, and have yet to be tied the almost year they've been together. (Let me mention there was an over lapping with their almost year and my 1.5 years....damn this is getting personal, I might as well put it out there..he cheated on me with an unbeknowest to him psycho chick with like 5kids and a "baby daddy in prison." Keeper huh? Not my place to say. But wait! There's More! My ex has a kid and a wife he's seperated from but not legally divorced from. Guess when I found this out?!? Right before we broke up. Well...it was the initial reason we parted ways, or were in the process of parting ways, then I discover psycho chick with 5kids and a ," baby daddy in prison." (That's her name for privacy purposes...all I need is a lawsuit.lol) So yeah, that's why were're not together. SO basically the loose strings are his kinda ex/wife. They're not divorced yet. It really doesn't matter to me since I don't want him, but for this crazy chick to be emailing me because she's not secure in eh standing w/him that she has to snoop around his email, only to discover that he had been corresponding with me. SO she sends me this email, (I would paste it, but I don't have access to hotmail at work...so I'll do it later.) so yeah,her email wasn't rude, and I don't know if she's smart enough, or if some of the smart-ass commeents I read were just things I thought I saw there, but yeah. So. I. Replied. Heheheh. Now I was nice, I congratulated her on her pregnancy, and her potential marraige (so Maury Povic, "he says he'll marry me when he's divorced...yeah) and basically letting her know that she has nothing to worry about, she's runied my ex, so I sure don't want him, and if he's lucky...nevermind. But umm yeah, so I basicaly said what I said above, that if she read our emails she saw how innocent they were, so she shouldn't increase her stres level while prego, worrying about something that would never be. I went on to say how I couldn't do it if I were her..be with a married man, already have kids, have another on the way, and handle all of that stress. (welfare here we come!!) I mean, I'm 20 years old, all I have to worry about is the occasional bill (which thanks to my kick ass salary doesn't hurt my pockets) and school. My love life is drama free (shut up!) And I don't have to deal with half of the responsibility she does. Maybe I admire her a bit...nah I pity her. But yeah, so that's what I woke up to. Damn these people and their drama that they insist on making me a part of. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh one thing. She threw a, "move on and let him get on with his life," comment in the email. Now I could have been a bitch and forwarded her every email my ex has sent me that was a LOT more interesting than this one (if I wasn't a compulsive deleter...I still wouldn't do it..that's silly). I could have told her all the things he told me about her vs. me and etc. I could have shown up at hr job and kicke her in her stomach (or her house for that matter). There's lot's of mean evil things I could have done, but I'm a, "big girl." And I'm having to much fun watching karma have it's way in her life to interfere and bring the bad stuff back my way. So I'll pray for her, that she over comes her insecurities, that the baby get's her head (solely for childbirth purposes) and that one day my ex does actually get his divorce, takes care of both of his kids, acheives his goals to become a screenwriter, and lives happily ever after. That's how it is when you spend pivotal moments of your life with someone, you can't help but hope for the best for them....unless you're some kind of cold hearted person. And that's what bother's me about this. For the most part, whenever my ex emailed me, it was to tell me interesting things going on in his life, (outside of psycho) and to ask about the dog he bought me (penelope). So it annoys the hell out of me that this chick is letting something so innocent get to her. Though she's flat out told him that if he left her, "she'd stalk him." Maybe she's mad because I don't have to?? Hmm? But yeah, ladies, don't be like this chick.
I maen, don't get me wrong, any guy I'm with isn't allowed to make new female friends, but if it's someone that he was friends with before, then I can't say anything. ANd that's what I think bothers her...she see's that we weren't just a couple that fucked and cuddled and had drama...we were friends. FOr a while he was my only friend outside of Tiffany...so we have a foundation. But I DON"T want anything more....so please please PLEASE don't put me in some drama I don't want to be a part of. My life kicks so much ass right now, I'd hate to have to regress....
ok, I've vented...It's FRIDAY!!! 3 day weekend! (Maybe 4 depending on how monday goes!)
I had more to say, but I've said enough...have a wonderful, beautiful day people
Edited to add:
Her Email
Portia,
Listen I saw that ***** e-mailed you today and I also read the e-mail you sent him. What I want to know is:WHY are you two still communicating???????? I am 7 months pregnant with his child, did he ever tell you that????? It bothers me that you two are still on a friendly page!! It's not like you have kids or any thing!! He is with me now for the rest of his life, when he divorces chelena he is going to marry me!! Just let go of kevin and let him live his life. Please stop communicating with him by sending your cards and letters!!
I have no ill feelings against you I just dont think it's right for you guys to communicate behind my back, even if you are just bull shitting with each other.
Thank You,
******* *******
My Email (heh heh)
Greetings "**** ******* *******,"
Congratulations on your pregnancy, I pray that your child is healthy and happy. (And no he didn't tell me...it was irellevant to the conversation). It's great to hear that ***** is going to marry you, since you seem to be madly in love with him. (Much emphasis on the mad.) I understand that it could be disheartening to be doing that detective work that females are, "so good at," only to discover emails from the female that your boyfriend/man/"fiance," once lied to you about. However, you say you read the email I sent, and the one he sent back...so you see that it was friendly. Now from what you say, it sounds like you and ** *******have a pretty solid relationship, so why be, "bothered," or, "threatened," by a friendship that has absolutely no potential for growth into any other type of association? You have to pick your battles, and I'd hate to do anything to increase your stress level when another life can be affected by that stress. Ok, sorry, I'm getting off topic, let me answer your question," WHY are you two still communicating????????" To sum it up, we have a history...a friendship even. People handle people differently. We chose not to go down the, "I hate you," route and disregard the history/friendship we have. During your detective work I'm sure you also noticed that our emails aren't frequent.
*I have no ill feelings against you I just dont think it's right for you guys to communicate behind my back, even if you are just bull shitting with each other.
Ok, this concerns me. No one is attempting to communicate behind your back. I didnt' know if you still existed or not, and honestly didn't care either way. Like I said. *****. Will. Never. Travel. Any. Farther. Than. Friend. Status. I. Could. Give. A. "Good-god damn" (ask him about that quote). If. You. Had. 12. Kids. By. HIm. IT'S. NOT. ABOUT. YOU. SWEETHEART. So please don't try to make it that way. As I also said before, pick your battles. Go email CHelena and find out why it's almost been a year since you and ***** met and he's still not divorced. I'm living my life. I'm healthy, happy, and in love. Your life is too hectic for someone my age. I don't envy your stresses, and I don't want to add more.
But honestly, if ***** emails me, I'll reply. It's common courtesy. That's all I've been doing. Should I save you the trouble of having to figure out passwords and what not and just carbon copy you in on them?
"Just let go of kevin and let him live his life"
Sweetheart, I've let go. It's your turn. You're probably beautiful now, and you're obviously doing something right, trust your man. And please let me live my life...keep me out of your psycho drama. And I'll keep praying that you're delivered from your insecurities regarding ***** and myself. (Any backsliding/traveling down old paths has already been done...so you don't have to worry about that.)
So please, please, please, please don't harass me, blow up my inbox, or any of those other things people do when they're ummm..obse....I mean, in love. Be blessed, may you have a wonderful stress free life, and a wonderful relationship.
God Bless and thank you for reminding me of how wonderful, "moving on," can be,
Portia
lovely huh? ok, enough of this...
.: posted by Princess Portia 9:29 AM
Thursday, May 23, 2002
the stagnancy strikes
It's the day before the 2nd best day of the week, and nothing is going on. I had a productive morning, what with Birth control shots, bank visits, sleeping in, looking at apartments for August, and etc. I'm not sleepy, went to bed at 9 (my exciting life!) And woke up at 7...beautiful. But so yeah, I have nothing to complain about besides boredom.Oh, top it off with the fact that I didn't have to come to work until one...yep. I ummm oh. I don't have anything to talk about. I mean, when there's nothing to complain about, what do you do? You shut up..that's what you do. I'm outtie.
.: posted by Princess Portia 2:45 PM
Wednesday, May 22, 2002
rekindoidovich
Wow. Again. I talked to my,"best ex," last night.
best ex: (n.) A former boyfriend/girlfriend that you remain on positive, even better terms with
It was a good conversation. Oh this is "Palm Beach," I'm referring to. My, "best guy friend." Friends are good. Umm yeah. I think I know what I'm doing for memorial day now...(staying in Tampa & sleeping of course!) Umm yeah. This week is going slow, but it's ok because I have a 3 day weekend! Hooray! Ok, I'm finished with the babysitting babies other than Olivia thing. I had Rahven again last night and that wasn't fun. I wake up at 6:30/7:00...not 4:14 a.m. So she can go back home to mommy. I have nothing to say right now..I'm thinking too much. Oh, "leroy Jenkins," the, "fitness professional," is the devil. He kicked my ass yesterday. Damn kalisi the cardio funk/jam/whatever lame name u want to give it didn't show, so he, "hooked me up with a program." Let's just say that I did a 15 minute workout equivalent to my usual hour workout..damn it man...ok, my hands hurt for some reson, I need a nap..off to work I go...
.: posted by Princess Portia 9:16 AM
Tuesday, May 21, 2002
Ok, sorry for all of the random outbursts with minimal information...there's some funny things going on around these here aprts..for the 2nd time very recently I've had a thought about a random person from my past that I haven't spoken to in eons, next thing you know, I'm either running into them online (these are ppl I never spoke to online too!) or in person....scurry ..vurry scurry...
.: posted by Princess Portia 2:13 PM
Talk about a blast from the past. Wow. I swear..whenever I think about someone on my way to work...
.: posted by Princess Portia 10:59 AM
the bubble
According to an interesting source, there have been attempts to bust through my bubble and get to my heart or umm something like that. Where was I when I was getting poked?? (heehee..seriously, I'm not trying to be nasty!) I literally BABY sat last night...no sleep much? It was fun though..she's adorable and sweet...she was hella sensitive though..I was yelling at Penelope to bring me something (haha...just kidding..she didn't bring it) and Rahven (raven..thats her name, but thats the spelling out there) looked at me, poked out her lip, and started crying (she doesnt like loud). She's so cute! She jumped me for my food this morning...
enough about other people...hold on
.: posted by Princess Portia 10:10 AM
Monday, May 20, 2002
ummm (I say that a lot)
Monday...monday monday monday...Progressive Auto Insurance is still the devil, first union (and now Wachovia) are both still the devil...toomuch curry at midnight is the devil..and lot's of other wonderful things...
My weekend was oh so quiet. It rained, I slept. I woke up...it rained, I slept. I cried...I can't rememebr why...it's that freaking 28 day thing...seems the older I get, the more xtreme it is. So to sum it up I slept, cried about things (people) I haven't cared about it a while, and I comfort-cooked and fed the hungry. (My friends). Not too eventful...I've decided to end my love affair with the concept of being in love. Though infatuation is fun, I don't have the patience to let it turn into some long-drawn out association, so I'll stop being so umm soft??? I feel like a predator sometimes...I'll draw someone in, convince myself that I want all of that ooshy gushy mushy lovey stuff, only too realize that I do..just not with them. It's that whole setting standards, prioritizing, and being focused thing...ugh. It just seems like some guys' mission is to throw you off focus..not happening here...so woe is me, I'm loved, but I can't reciprocate the emotion towards those that are loving me...ho hum (or not)
.: posted by Princess Portia 1:36 PM
Sunday, May 19, 2002
shit
Ahhh...a profane title...yeah that made me fell better. I can't post much because I'll end up making it a lot more personal than I really ever wanted to make this page. I don't know if it's that, "28 day cycle," thing or just life. If it's option a. then damn, the older I get, the more I PMS. Maybe it's early menopause... (ha)! But yeah, Olive Garden catering my training aside, today sucked.
I try really hard not to make rush judgments about people (read: I waste my time with people). Because I'm so paranoid about, "missing out on something because I was wrong." Shitty thing is...I haven't been wrong yet. People are dumb. Not all, just some. No offense to any, "people," reading this...I just don't like much of anyone today. And the thing is, for the most part, my life is great. I'll never tell what parts are crappie...let's just say it's none of the major things. I'm pretty complete there (or maybe I'm lying). I just don't feel like pouring out my emotions on here. I don't want anyone to care about shit like that.
O.K. I know I'm being hella vague and none of this is making any sense, but hey...it's therapy. Did anyone notice that it's a lovely Saturday midnight (Sunday????) and I'm sitting here on my piece of shit video card computer typing vague, pointless thoughts? Gotta love my life sometimes. My, "fitness professional," kind of invited me out, but that's weird...I can't hang out with him on weekends...umm no. what if I drink around him, then get that 4 am craving for IHOP...I mean, is he going to talk shit about my Strawberry n'whip cream pancakes and scrambled eggs w/ham, onions & green peppers on Monday in Step n' Sculpt? That wouldn't be cool. We would have to fight. Or even worse, what if it's not just the fact that he thinks I'm funny as hell and someone it would be cool to drink with. What. If. He's. Catching. Feelings? Ummm, sorry cowboy, that's not going to cut it. Have I mentioned that my "where in the world is portia lauer?" (TM today show...kinda) travel series is pretty much on pause? Unless I go to Atlanta for my birthday...but I hope it comes to me. oooh. if ATL comes to me...umm never mind. But yeah. I'm so glad that this 19th year of my life is almost over. Is it safe to say it was the worst yet? I know I haven't had many, but this was definitely the worst. There needs to be an award for ruining someone's year...it's takes special people to do that. I wonder if I've ever ruined someone's year? I've been tempted to out of revenge...but that just makes more bad karma.
That's another thing...I've always been karma conscious...avoiding doing things that are just plain evil...and where had it gotten me? Hmmm. Next topic. Jacksonville went to Texas but is considering making a cameo in Tampa before an extended vaca. I don't know if that's necessary. The jury has reached it's verdict. There will be no capital letters. I haven't talked to West Palm in a while, and they're kind of missed...it's my fault, but I'm bad about emailing. Though if you've ever sent me an email from my page I'm sure you know that...sorry...I have my social moments but not reading. OK, I'm outtie. I hope all that are reading this are doing so Sunday afternoon because they just woke up from their Saturday night fun. I mean...someone has to have fun for me.... I can't wait until they make spell check available on here...this Extra Strength Sleepytime Tea needs to hurry up and kick in...
.: posted by Princess Portia 12:31 AM
Friday, May 17, 2002
scurred...or not
I heart my job so much! It scares me though, because whenever I really really like something, something weird happens and I start to hate that thing. So umm, my job is ok. It's just a job and I can't wait until I finish school to start my real career. We're having a bomb-ass pot-luck today. We have some great cooks on my team, so I'm loving it. I was full, but I "took care of that," So I'm back in the race. Wait. What I just said cold imply bulimia. That's not what I meant FYI. Ok, just had to put that out there. I'm in a really good mood despite some traumatizing incidents in the a.m. I've decided to no longer look at my online banking before noon on my first union account. The credit union and Citi accounts are cool...but them...ummm yeah.
I wanted to go out tonight, but I have to work tomorrow...damn damn damn damn damnit man. I'll be back..time for round two...
.: posted by Princess Portia 11:25 AM
Thursday, May 16, 2002
french tips and artichoke dip
I have a confession: this post will have absolutely nothing to do with either thing listed above...I just wanted to type it. And since I'm th princess of this site there isn't really anything you can do about it...so nah. You know, I have Dreamweaver..I need to use it. Make some flash intro of me running down the beach with my arms open, or something lame like that. Wow, I fell asleep at work, I didn't get caught, but if I hadn't of choked ona snore, I probably wouldn't have woken up. We're having a pot-luck tomorrow, and I don't know what to bring. I was going to do Chicken Flourentine (I need to post my recipe for that). But chicken breasts aren't on sale, and I'm not trying to spend hella money for these assheads. So I don't know..I'll think of something. I finally got to meet little miss olivia noelle in person. I ed her and burped her and she smiled at me and opened her eyes...she's absolutely beautiful. I'm a godmommy! I'm a god-mommy! Yay yay happy cakes. Ok, shut up. I'm too tired for this perky ish. Umm what else? I'm trying to be as unproductive today as possible, so I can't think too much right now. You see, tonight would normally be a drunken THursday, but since tomorrow isn't really, "my friday." That's not to dill..umm kosher. Did I ever tell you all my new word? Well words. I like to add "oidovich" to the end of everything. For example:
(normal)
I'm taking my pants to the cleaners to get starched.
(oidovich mild)
I'm taking my pants to the cleaners to get stoiodoviched.
(oidovich strong {I'll never really do this})
I'm takoidiching my pizzoidoviches to the cleanoidocivhers to get stoiodoviched.
Just thought I'd give you all another way to rot 'yer brain. Happy Thursday.
.: posted by Princess Portia 3:26 PM
Wednesday, May 15, 2002
swing, swing, swing...
Like the sands that flow throught the hour glass...
Grrr...it's one of those days right now. Yeah...people suck today. I suck today. I want to just go crawl back in my bed get up, spin in 100 circles and just make today go away. I don't know where I went wrong...was it last night? At 1:15 a.m. when I got up to drink some Mountain Dew? Was it at 3:45 when I got up to pee and get Penelope some water because she said she had cotton mouth? (Ok, she didn't say it...but she was smacking her mouth like she does when she's thristy.) Maybe it was waking up at 6:36 instead of 6:40...hmmmm. Whatever it was, I wish I could make it un=happen. (Look man, I know that isn't a word, but it makes me feel a little better to type it!)
Let me just say that First Union is the devil. No matter how responsible you are with you money/checking account. They will find some freaking exscuse to take your money.Maybe if I stop getting direct deposit they'll think I'm broke and stop robbing me. I haven't cried first thing in the morning for a while now, but they sure as hell made me. Arghhh. I can't wait until this month is over. (Damn it just started!) At least I have a 3 day weekend coming up....in like 2 weeks. I have a, "special session," scheduled w/my fitness professional today. This should be interesting...I've just been working the program he gave me, but today he has to follow me around and do that gym guy crap...fun. I think I'm going to get a 2nd job for a month so I have an excuse to not come to any more weekend training. I have to come this saturday, and the 1st sunday in June...that's so evil.
Wow, it's almost my birthday...people are actually talking about getting me stuff..I don't expect anything though...I guess it comes from my low expectations of people. I don't know where I'm going yet...probably Atlanta, but I want to go somewhere I've never been...it's kind of exciting..I'm pretty much finished discovering Florida (good, now I can move far...far away.) Did I ever mention the hottie on my team? He inspired me to add an entry on my, "strange things I find sexy/attractive list." He has on a purple shirt. Need I say more? Oh, did I mention my lists page?
It's a work in progress, but I seem to make so many lists anyhoo...what the hell...I'm so tired of today. I can't wait for it to be over! Oh! Oh! oh! A gimongous congrats to my friend Casey ....Olivia's mom..she had the babay (Olivia)..welcome to the world sweetie! You're already loved!
.: posted by Princess Portia 10:30 AM
Tuesday, May 14, 2002
Super Teusday (their spelling) at the quickie mart!
I hate when the funniest/most interesting stuff about me is something I can't post. I have to tell someone, but I have noone to tell! But then, I would probably make the mistake of telling someone that won't see the humor, so that would suck. Oh well..I'll tell my dog. Isn't it funny how the smallest thing can cause you to disregard all interest in a person? (Not just man-whores, people in general.) Or maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm too particular about things. Hmm. I'm so sleepy, but it's cardio funk day, and I have to go see the fitness professional..we had drama (yes me and my trainer..he hurt my feelings so I banned him from having the "pleasure of my acquaintance.") It worked too..I went to the gym yesterday and didn't speak, as I was leaving he followed me outside talking about how "rude and messed up," it was that I was just leaving without saying anything. hehehehe.
So I was like, "I have to go!." hehehe. (really, I did, I'm not into the game thing) So I get an email today...
Portia,
About the little comment that I made the other day
You already know how I like to trip on certain things.
But I will be a bigger man and say that I am sorry, better yet that
I APOLOGIZE for the little hurtful comment. I really didn't want you to take it to heart like that
Please be a sweet heart and forgive me.
******
No comment on what the comment was...we won't go there. It's so funny. Because he's not stressed over it because he thinks I'll complain. It's because he's witnessed the "greatness that is Portia" (please don't think I'm realy THIS arrogant) and can't fathom the thought of having no potential to see me on a recreational status, rather than just a cardiovascular one. (I've got some cardio for ya baby...heehee). Not that he does have the potential, but he thinks so, and that seems to make his days at work go a little shorter, so who am I to crush the day dreams that make his work more bearable? I mean, I wish I had someone to day dream about and catch warm fuzzies and chills over while I'm at work. But I don't, because my attention span sucks, so oh well. Someone that I used to associate with. (http://notthecar.tripod.com/archives.html) Wants to take me on a, "date," (hahhaha)wooo where did that come from? We so weren't on good temrs. (It's a set up!) But it's food, and maybe fun...so as long as he isn't all overdramatic and in my space bubble...but I don't feel like it. I just want to sleep. Workout, eat, sleep work, workout, eat, sleep, work. Wonderful cycle. Oh..throw a glass of Bacardi in there every few and we've got my life.
I'm really really really tired right now, so I can't type another word. Happy Tuesday..ooh it's discount super mega ultra car warsh (intentional spelling) day!
.: posted by Princess Portia 4:54 PM
Monday, May 13, 2002
I must have pissed someone off...I've been getting hella spam/junk mail...hmmmm
.: posted by Princess Portia 8:29 PM
wrath of the warm fuzzies
Wow, man. I couldn't sleep. That was hella weird. But then, so am I. I made a new section on here...
.: posted by Princess Portia 3:05 PM
Sunday, May 12, 2002
the final J
Went to Jacksonville again this weekend. It was ummm...interesting. Happy mothers and baby mommas day. (haha). IT doesn't apply to me yet thank God, bt yeah..blah blah. Ooh..I came home to an email from this beautiful beautiful person I know that I haven't spoken to/seen in ages. I'm talking hella giggles and blushing as a result of this email. Nice suprise. Wow. Fuzzies. Ok, I need to be quiet. I'm being a girly dork. I need a laptop so I can post on weekends because I always have so many words then forget them by the time I get home. I love outlets. It's why I travel. The Gap outlet in St. Augustine off of I-95 hooked me up. 4 pair of pants (1 pair for my best friend since I always find the deals and she doesn't) for a total of almost 29 dollars and some change after tax. That's beautiful. Beautimous even. I bought another pair of black pants. (What is this..the 100th pair or something?)
You know, I'm hella grateful for my perceptiveness. I can smell drama before it even exists, though I usually still hang around just to prove myself right. (So silly.) Of course this is a reference to this weekend. (Or maybe it isn't!) Those of you that read my thoughts often enough know that I'm a pretty exclusive; not super social butterfly kind of girl. And I'm attracted to guys like that. Deep, sensitive, borderline outkast, socially selective guys, with similiar interests. Now it NEVER fails...someone will appear to be this way initially, but then you realize they're not as exclusive (double meaning) as they might try to lead u to think. To contradict myself for a moment, I also require that a guy I would consider for a serious association be charismatic enough that I can introduce them to people, or chill wiht them while with other people, w/out them freaking out or being weird and quiet and not as fun as interesting as they are when we're alone. Does that make sense? I think so. So hush.
But yeah, this is why it takes me FOREVER to commit to a friendship/association or relationship even. Because I SEE through the false advertisement, I allow myself time to test the product (stop thinking sex, that's not what i'm referring to) and then I make an evaluation. Actually...usually I don't even have to because the litte trickles of truth (read:drama) will eventually start seeping out of your ears and drying in the corner of your eyes like green crunchy eye boogers. Gosh that's disgustingly graphic...you like that don't you?? Haha. But yeah..patience is everything..so ladies..I can't say it enough EVALUATE! EVALUATE! EVALUATE! Not just the penis. (If that's your bag) But the Person. And evaluate objectively. Evaluate before you allow deep feelings/attachments to become and issues. Umm guys, I guess this can apply to you too.
Hmm...what else? I love my dog (penelope)...I just had to put that out there. She's so great. Forget kids, give me chihuahuas.
I love being infatuated (after evaluation) and I hate being drop kicked back to reality. Just thought I'd put that out there.
I can't stop thinking about the beautiful person's email. And the thing is..it's hella short..it's just the thought...oh my goodness...if you met this person you would understand. Just perfection in motion. (I'll never tell whether I'm referencing physical or personality stuff). Oh. My. Goodness. Awe. Wow. Whoa.
Ok..I really need to stop. I owe people phone calls, and I need to cuddle, so it's time to "be up out this piece!" Toodleloo.
Oh! It's important that you remember that these are RANDOM thoughts, thus in no particular order, and most likely not all a reference to the same incident/situation/person even if it may sound like it. When they become "organized," thoughts I'll change the name, but in the meantime remember that.
.: posted by Princess Portia 10:18 PM
Friday, May 10, 2002
a sign the end is nigh
I like a nelly song, I'm havging great fun singing, "I -am- getting so- hot, I'm- gonna- take- my- clothes off!." It's my Summer in Tampa motto. But oh my gosh. What does this mean? I'm forced to listen to the whole song to hear the chorus...I think this is a spin off of some other song...ok, don't tell anyone.
.: posted by Princess Portia 12:42 PM
did I miss something?
Where was I when the rule was written that people will, "catch feelings," and be all into you, the moment you're ummm, not. There's so many unwritten unspoke rules...hmm
* You won't get hired at the job you really want until 3 days after you accept another position.
* When he likes you..you won't, and vice versa.
* Sex will always result in one form of drama or another.
* If you crave something (food, a drink, a snack, a movie, a penis, etc.) you will be disappointed when you finally get it.
* Most ugly people don't know they're ugly.
* Those that do, (see above) have nice cars/clothes/jewelry (let's just say material things).
* Guys that are squirm dirms will act like they don't know.
* Old people will always feel compelled to tell you if you've lost/gained weight.
* In normal cases, when you tell someone what you want for xmas, your bday, etc...that's not what you're going to get.
* Back rolls aren't sexy.
* If a guy fantasizes/voices attraction to celebrities that are the complete opposite of you, he's not, "the one."
* It's important to have an overweight male friend who is content with his size...you alays have someone to go out to eat with.
* No one should be able to tell when you're surfing the crimson wave unless you tell them or you sleep with them. (ummm)
* People that can be trusted won't tell you they can be trusted.
* Someone that says, "I'm not a good liar," is one of the best.
* If you only have the option of 3 hours of sleep..just stay awake.
* The pictures u put the least effort into will turn out the best.
* If you're a brown girl, even if it is your hair...they'll doubt it.
* Don't sleep in a thong unless you know you won't have it on long...it's just not right.
There's more, but I'm so sleepy my eyes are rolling in the back of my head..I aws at the WOmen's Hospital w/my god baby's momma until 1 ish last night...and no baby is here yet...that was tiring and disappointing...well it's off to J this weekend, hopefully the baby isn't born while I'm gone. I'm going jetskiing! Wow, Im finally taking advatage of all of the things to do in teh water (haha) in FLoreeduh.
Muahs
.: posted by Princess Portia 9:34 AM
Wednesday, May 08, 2002
well it's wendesday
I had a hellified mood swing when I left the gym yesterday...I wonder what that was all about. Two guys on my team @ work had birthdays in the past two weeks, so I bought them a belated bday cake. Temporary niceness. I think we're establishing some unspoken/unwritten rule that when we come to work late, when it's for no good reason, we must come bearing gifts. It only really applies to us senior reps, and I think it's just a guilt thing..I know with me, sometimes I just have a magnet on the bottom of my foot keeping me in my house, so it's "just so hard to leave." Yeah...that's it. But I got the cake because I felt like doing something nice for someone, so I did. My mom is at some nurse's seminar in the hotel right by mom job..maybe I'll do somethign nice for her too...hmmm.
Is it lunch time yet? I'm like hella hungry. My mood swing prevented me from eating last night. I want pasta...ughh the pains of being carb fiend...Ithere was a point to this post..but as with previous occurences..I forgot, well actually, I have to go do something more importante` para un momento...ciao..ha
.: posted by Princess Portia 10:25 AM
Tuesday, May 07, 2002
and more
Why is it that every time the Jackson's comes on VH-1, though I've seen it 500 times, I still sit and watch it, even though I complain the whole way through. Same thing goes for most Behind The Music's... ESPECIALLY Cher's...strange.
I tried Vanilla Rice Dream, but it almost made me puke. I finally found some Strawberry Goober, you know, the peanut butter and jelly mixed... hooray. I am a walking wedgie today...and that's just wrong. Very oh so super wrong. I'm sleepy. I had a 6am "phone date." No that's not what it was, but it sounds cute. I need a massage. Again. oh! oH! OH! Big news! I bought my domain! I have to get everything situated...but this will now officially be www.notthecar.com Big time baby...big time...I feel all special..but damn, that means I have to put more effort into this crap. Fuuun. Well keep and eye out for it..I'll probably set it up to redirect for the first few weeks. Yay!
.: posted by Princess Portia 1:35 PM
I forgot, remembered, then forgot again...
Sex is good and good for you, if you are of age and a consenting adult. There's my public service announcement for the day. "A friend in bed is a friend until you're dead." Haha. I have no clue where this crap is coming from. I forgot to tell another story from Key west. Well like I told you before, I was sporting my diverse ethnic look, with the sarong and head wrap and crap. Well, all I had on underneath the sarong was a black thong (Did I just rhyme twice??) (Would have gone commando in other situations.) Well everytime I got out of the van it was quite windy. So we stopped at this fruitstand in Florida City, on the way to the casino that i mentioned yesterday. So I step out of the van and whoooosh! My wrap cirles up ala Marilyn Monroe style..except for I was showing the cheeks, the twins...er'thang. And of course there just so happened to be Juan (that was really his name!) standing there to take in all my glory. So he smiled his lovely mexican smile. I put on my glasses and walked up to where they were selling this bomb-ass salsa...the people I was with declared me the, "Fruitstand Flasher." Dahdahdummm!
.: posted by Princess Portia 9:28 AM
Monday, May 06, 2002
dreams came true, but I had to puke
Went to the Keys this weekend. It was absolutely as beautiful as I imagined, I would have had more fun if I would have gone with my J-ville traveling buddy..but it was still great. Camping wasn't as traumatizing as I expected, ironically, the, "girl who's never been camping," was the most prepared...I'm talking...I took my accent and seasoning salt...Tiffany would be proud. The only thing I would do differently is take a bigger fan, or a fan that could be recharged. My Non-asthmatic self once again almost had an asthma attack from trying to sleep in ridiculously hot conditions...(same thing happened when I went to Tally last weekend). I went snorkeling, it was so much more complicated than I anticipated, the whole breathing through the tube thingy...I saw a hellified clam..I'm talking as big as my bathtub, and lot's and lot's of purty fish. I bought an underwater camera, so I'll have the pics up soon...I'm officially purple, but that's ok..it just means I'm sweeter. So yeah, I didn't starve to death, or kill any of the people I went camping with, and I want to go back, but with one person. ***Wink!***
....
The other cool thing was when we went down to key west...we had hella (I can't Stop saying that!) hookups. We kept running into people we knew, so we got free ice cream, all day (so not healthy) and free appetizers, and sadly I couldn't partake in the free drinks because I wasn't w/a drinking crowd. But umm yeah, when we went snorkeling there was a scary amount of choppiness, so my ass is so bruised from the ride out, and I have scrapes and bruises of which I don't know the source...then when we parked the boat (is that what you do to boats) it was all wish wavy washy...and I felt oh so pregnant and hungover and posessed and all of those other nauseous feelings. So, my friend Chris, who didn't seem phased by the motion of the ocean, (haha!) was just chatting away with his girlfriend, and then Bleughhhhhhhh! He ralphed. And ralphed. And ralphed. And ralphed. I was on the other side of the boat, then BLUEEEGHHHCHHCHCHUCHCUHCH I earled. And earled. And ealred. And all of the pretty pink and purple and teal and yellow fishies came up and had a lovely feast of my earl stew. Yuuuuuuuuuumy! So somewhere in the Gulf/Atlantic ocean there are lot's of fish digesting and excreting my juices. Haha. THat was sexy. (eww!) Oh! I also went to a Casino, and all of the 25 year olds I was with got id's (well most of tehm) and I didn't. But then I was sporting a sarong and a head wrap and black sunglasses inside, so I probably looked like some undercover celebrity (hey...let me dream!) So they didn't want to, "trouble me." We had steak and lobster for 6.95 (no tax on a reservation) so that was interesting. My first time in a casino. It was truly a magical place...just what I need...another addiction. Speaking of addictions..umm nevermind. But yes, I had a wonderful weekend, I didn't get a chance to call back one of my more wise friends before I left, so I feel bad about that...but umm yeah. I think it might be take myself on a date night....hmmm. Maybe I'll...nevermind. Well I hope noone missed me too much..it's not like I most frequently on weekends anyhoo. Oh! This coming weekend I'm going up to J...it's been a few weeks. I finally found a cell phone that I love..and it's a 200.00 phone but it's still free w/rebates! Yay! Ok...
Oh, and am I the only person that never associated Key Lime Pie with the Keys?? Let me just tell you, it's so much better down there than it will ever be from village in and Denny's. WoRd.
.: posted by Princess Portia 5:21 PM
Wednesday, May 01, 2002
returning...
I saw a C.O.P.S style prostitution bust today...("bad boys! bad boys! whatcha gonna do???") fun times man. I don't have to work tomorrow or Friday...that's beautiful I'm of course now in a slight predicament in regards to this weekend and Key West. My Jacksonville friend is getting ready to go far, far, away for a long, long, time, and the opportunity has now risen to go see them this weekend. Oh...FYI...pespi twist and Bacardi Limon taste hella good mixed...though I'm usually more partial to sugar shots...anyhoo back to what I was saying...I can either go to key west (something I've always wanted to do, though I would rather be in a hotel) or I can go to Jacksonville one last time and say bye bye to my friend I may never see again. Hmmm. And believe me..this really is a tough one. Both sides are driving a hard bargain...damn. Speaking of moving, a friend I kind of neglected though he's kicked ass since 2000 is moving to Texas...that kind of sucks...I never got any (haha). But seriously...what's up with the "Texas Connection," lately? Hmmm.
I've not only been a post scrub this week, but also an email scrub. I'm sorry people...I'll get back to all of you...promise. THere was so much stuff I wanted to say, but I forgot. If I don't hget a chance to post, I hope everyone has a beautimous fantabulous stupenderific weekend. (That. Was. So. Sweet. Booty.) Smooches!
.: posted by Princess Portia 10:55 PM
heeheehorn
ok, I'm a postng scrub, we;ve already established this. i've been stressing about this Key west trip..I mean...how the hell do I camp? I don't know anything about this rough (whoa) wild wood indiana jones cowboy bill handy snack crap...but Ihave to go to wally world and buy a Mach 3 razor and some bug repellent and spf 2000 sunblock...ciao for now
.: posted by Princess Portia 8:32 PM
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